Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
