No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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