I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
