we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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