Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
