I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
