I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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