you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
