Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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