Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
