You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
