Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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