i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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