You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
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Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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