when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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