Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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