I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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