Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
