M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
