Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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