Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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(718): View more from New York

One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"

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(317): View more from Indiana

I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

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(315): View more from New York

and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...

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(231): View more from Michigan

I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.

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(517): View more from Michigan

passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.

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(210): View more from Texas

I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.

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