it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.