soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s