Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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  (845): oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call. http://tfl.nu/l86s
  Replies (13) Good night (735) Bad night (2391)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night

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  (617): the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night http://tfl.nu/rgw3
  Replies (12) Good night (4790) Bad night (637)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.

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  (757): We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on. http://tfl.nu/8n2e
  Replies (15) Good night (5732) Bad night (1111)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.

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  (352): Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover. http://tfl.nu/82ke
  Replies (19) Good night (1583) Bad night (4797)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day

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  (314): I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day http://tfl.nu/ayjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3059) Bad night (1291)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this

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  (303): I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this http://tfl.nu/m1v9
  Replies (11) Good night (3140) Bad night (911)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.

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  (860): its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party. http://tfl.nu/bik1
  Replies (5) Good night (2363) Bad night (806)
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  (916): View more from California

  Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.

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  (916): Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless. http://tfl.nu/cdoe
  Replies (9) Good night (3062) Bad night (953)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..

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  (708): just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car.. http://tfl.nu/c49r
  Replies (12) Good night (2044) Bad night (1296)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.

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  (432): I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line. http://tfl.nu/q8nl
  Replies (20) Good night (4616) Bad night (990)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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  (778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (901)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.

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  (312): You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on. http://tfl.nu/wd3p
  Replies (5) Good night (1185) Bad night (377)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism

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  (813): Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism http://tfl.nu/7mxl
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (316)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.

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  (520): it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off. http://tfl.nu/1ls6
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (278)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.

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  (480): Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor. http://tfl.nu/8do3
  Replies (0) Good night (437) Bad night (375)

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