we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
ok first of all what the fuck
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
