I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
