I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just tell him i said nine months
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
