Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
