The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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