Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
