Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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