Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
