that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
