i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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