I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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