he shaved USA in his pubs
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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