I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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