every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?