We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.