how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...