You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
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im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill