Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"