went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
