sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
