I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
