And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize