I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
