Do you still have your period?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize