It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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