Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
