pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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