Swine flu. Run for my life!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
