I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
