You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize