he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
