Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am spending my child support on dildos
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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