in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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