I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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