so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
