She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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