Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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