he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The air was thick with penises
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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