he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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