Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
