Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
