I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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