He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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