Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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