So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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