I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
