i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
