Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
