i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
