Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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