Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
