when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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