then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
