I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
