I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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