I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
