Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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