I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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