I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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