the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize