i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
