i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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